“You Don’t Know How Hard It Was To Let You Go” is a heartfelt piece that explores the painful tension between love and fear. The poem begins with regret, as the speaker admits to running away despite truly caring for the other person. Past heartbreak and unresolved trauma created hesitation, making it difficult to fully embrace a new relationship even though the feelings were genuine.
Through moments of apology, vulnerability, and honesty, the poem reveals the internal conflict of wanting love but not being emotionally ready for it. The premature confession of “I love you” sparks fear instead of comfort, ultimately leading to retreat. Yet beneath the hesitation lies a deep sincerity—the speaker’s love is real, even if they cannot act on it. At its core, this poem is a bittersweet reflection on timing, healing, and the courage it takes to face love after heartbreak. It speaks to anyone who has ever loved deeply but needed to step away in order to heal first.
This poem first came to life as a music track on my second album, Volume Two (I Miss You). I carefully selected a sound and melody that created the right mood and ambiance, allowing listeners to connect with the emotions of the story—especially those who may have experienced something similar.
When conceptualizing the video for this music track, I knew it needed to begin by capturing the couple’s happier days before the stark reality set in. Moments of joy—road trips, laughter, and carefree days at the beach—were woven intermittently throughout the video, presented like cherished memories the male character replays in his mind again and again. To take the narrative in a completely different direction, I envisioned the scenes unfolding within the female protagonist’s home. The intimacy of a private setting felt essential—a space where the two could open their hearts without outside distractions, and ultimately, the place the male character could flee from after his emotional confession.
In framing the story, I designed multiple interpretations of his departure—one in which he walks out slowly, and another where he leaves abruptly, leaving her devastated as she leans against the doorframe for support. Other sequences show him alone—driving at night or sitting in his car—contemplating his actions and feeling guilty for running from emotions that overwhelmed him. These moments highlight how his love was genuine, yet his fear, rooted in past traumas, made it impossible to stay.
To provide context for those traumas, I included flashback scenes with his former partner. I ensured she looked entirely different from his current love interest so audiences could clearly distinguish the two. These moments depict high tension: anger escalating to the verge of violence, and in another, an outburst where she smashes plates in rage. Throughout, he remains calm until the scene diffuses—then walks away, leaving behind the chaos.
The video also features sequences of the male character wandering alone through dimly lit city streets at night, the weight of his emotions heavy on his shoulders. The quiet emptiness of the streets mirrors his inner isolation, as if the world has slowed down around him while his mind races with memories of her. His body language—his posture (heavy with sorrow), hesitant steps, and frequent pauses—reveals the depth of his regret, a man trapped between longing and the consequences of his choices.
These visual details are designed to embody the haunting nature of regret—that no matter how far he tries to run, she lingers everywhere. The city becomes a canvas for his emotions: every shadow, every flicker of light, every passing face reminding him of the love he walked away from. Despite his decision to leave, the imagery makes clear that he still carries her with him, proving that the heart does not easily let go, even when the mind insists otherwise.
Every frame of this video was crafted with intention. From the intimate setting to the symbolic reflections, each element was designed to bring the poem’s emotional depth to life visually. I hope these insights allow you to appreciate the creative process behind this project.
Thank you for watching, and stay tuned for more behind-the-scenes looks at future music videos. For news and updates on upcoming projects, please visit christopherlouiebooks.com.
