Artist Statement – Concept Behind the Poem and Music Video
This poem explores a theme that resonates deeply with anyone who has navigated the complexities of modern dating. At its core, it addresses the emotional fallout of ghosting—a phenomenon that, while increasingly normalized, can have serious psychological consequences for those on the receiving end. Often used as a way to avoid confrontation or discomfort, ghosting may seem like an easy exit, but taken to extremes, it becomes emotionally damaging.
The piece portrays ghosting as a subtle yet insidious form of emotional abuse—one that undermines self-worth, fosters feelings of abandonment, and leaves the recipient grappling with confusion and unresolved emotions. It touches on how such experiences can revive old wounds and insecurities, amplifying self-doubt and internalized pain.
When conceptualizing the music video, I envisioned the male protagonist facing off with a ghostlike figure representing the woman who vanished from his life. Her character is draped in a tight, silky red garment that conceals her entirely—most notably, her face. Initially imagined in black, her wardrobe was changed to red to soften the visual tone and symbolically tie back to themes of love, loss, and passion. She was envisioned as a haunting and spectral presence—an embodiment of the emotional turmoil she has left behind. Through the eyes of the male protagonist, who suffers the sting of a broken heart, she becomes a symbol of pain, capable of inflicting deep emotional wounds. To reflect this perception, she is portrayed with an almost demonic intensity, representing the raw hurt, devastation, and anguish she has caused. A series of frames captures the haunting spectre, her back to the camera—a silent, deliberate retreat that speaks volumes, turning away from him without a flicker of care.
The male lead, clad in a black leather jacket, was originally imagined in a post-apocalyptic setting to visually represent desolation and emotional ruin. However, the tone of the narrative eventually aligned better with a modern, contemporary world—reflecting the current digital dating landscape, where ghosting has become prevalent. Notably, the term “ghosting” itself is a relatively recent addition to our cultural vocabulary, allegedly popularized by British author and journalist Rachel Thompson, formerly a Features Editor at Mashable.
Throughout the video, the protagonist is shown wrestling with the emotional aftermath of being ghosted. Several key moments depict him confronting his reflection, grappling with feelings of inadequacy and self-blame—echoing the themes presented in both the poem and the lyrics, as follows:
It leaves us confused with a lack of closure.
It’s hard to move on when we don’t know if it’s over.It creates self-doubt like what’s wrong with me?
Our self-worth is destroyed when our thoughts are ugly.It makes us feel like we are not worthy of love.
We just keep trying harder but we’ll never be enough.
These visual metaphors underline the internal conflict and lingering pain that ghosting can provoke, while also reinforcing the poem’s central message: the importance of self-recognition, healing, and choosing to move forward rather than dwell in silence.
The main character eventually arrives at a pivotal moment of realization: that the only path forward after being ghosted is to let go and move on. To visually represent this turning point, I storyboarded scenes set in an airport, on an airplane, and on a motorcycle—each symbolizing movement, transition, and emotional departure. One subtle yet powerful gesture, as depicted in a couple of different frames in the video, —him slipping his phone into his pocket—signals his decision to stop waiting, stop checking, and to reclaim his sense of agency.
In the final frame of the music video, I chose to unveil the perpetrator’s face—her mask lifted at last, for the game has ended, and with the male character no longer part of her charade, there is no role left for her to play as the illusion has been broken. With no audience left to deceive, she stands alone in the stark light of truth, the theater of illusion now emptied.
Ghosting is undeniably painful. So, too, is the vulnerability required to engage in dating itself. It takes courage to open oneself up to connection, to pursue the hope of mutual interest and the dream of a shared future. But reality often falls short of that ideal, and the experience can be disheartening, even bitter. This poem serves as a reflection and a quiet lesson for those who have been ghosted—not to dwell in despair or view the experience solely through a lens of loss. Sometimes, what feels like rejection may actually be redirection—Fate intervening to steer us away from an ill-suited path and toward something better.
As the poem and lyrics gently suggest, the healthiest and most empowering response to ghosting is simple: walk away, let go, and trust that moving on is the first step toward healing—and ultimately, toward something more meaningful.
Thank you for journeying behind the veil with me to glimpse the heart and craft behind Why Ghosting Hurt So Much. I hope these reflections offered more than just insight—but a shared understanding of emotion, art, and healing. Stay close, as new stories are waiting to unfold, and I can’t wait to bring you along for what’s yet to come.
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